I'm sure you are all wondering the answer to this question. My answer is more than the simple answer that a lot of people in any helping profession give of "I want to help people." Yes this is a big part of my answer but it is so much more and so much deeper. You'll probably notice through this blog that I might be a bit more real than many of you may have remembered from the blog I wrote to update you while I was serving overseas as a missionary with YWAM for 3 years. If there is any part of my story that can help someone else than I'm more than willing to share it. Obviously you will realize that there are boundaries in this field and so I will attempt to be real but with the appropriate boundaries. Ok so back to the original question.
The answer to this question can best be summed up in 3 ways...
1. Through my own personal struggles
2. Through my experiences in missions
3. Through my time working in mental health
The more connections I have made in the psychology field that more I have realized that everyone has a story and that many people end up becoming therapists because of their own stories. Many of the people I know in this field have had their own major struggles in life where they had to seek counseling and many times be on medication. This allows one to have a different perspective on what others are going through. Through my own personal struggles in my life, I have developed a sense of empathy for others that I would never have had I not gone through some of the things that I did. I think my earliest struggles started when I was 16 and had a career ending sports injury. I had spent most of my time growing up playing sports. I started at age 3 and did everything including softball, soccer, tennis, golf, basketball, ice skating, skiing, flag football, and was a competitive gymnast at the age of 8. I made the varsity softball team freshman year of high school and by the time sophomore year rolled around I threw my shoulder out in preseason. It was so bad that I could not even throw a ball. I was devastated. Softball was my main sport at this time and I was involved in the fall and spring with this sport. When I realized that this would no longer be a part of my life I got depressed. I didn't know who I was outside of sports. This was my whole identity. I feel like I spent many years searching to fill that void in my life. I didn't handle it well. To skip ahead...the first major loss in my life was my grandpa at age 17. Then my other grandpa at 18, grandma at 20, cousin at 24, another cousin at 26 and that's only within my family. I could go on and list all the other loses in my life from age 17-26 but that's not the point. I learned to not get close to people, to keep my emotions to myself and found it hard to trust others. This makes for a life filled with emptiness, loneliness, seeking approval from others and never really being content with who I was. These struggles along with many others in my life have given me a perspective on the struggles others go through that I would never have had I not gone through these. Have you ever looked back on your life and thought, "Why did I have to go through that?" or "Why did God allow that to happen?" I wrestled with these questions many times and sometimes still do. But what I do know is that each challenge I have conquered in my life has taught me something. These experiences were incredibly difficult at times but I can now look back and see that each of these were preparing me for a career as a therapist.
Missions has been a huge part of my life since I was 16 (2001). I have LOVED every trip I went on and the chance to help others in countries all over the world. I will never forget Thanksgiving 2005 when I went down to Mississippi with about 80 others from my college to clean up after hurricane Katrina. Hearing the stories of survival but also of hope in the midst of a loss I could never imagine was so moving. To pray for people who had lost everything and then have then turn around and say, "I want to pray for you" was an incredible testimony of faith. Obviously the most impacting experience with missions was when I was serving with YWAM from 2007-2010. As I student my world was turned upside down and I gained a whole new perspective on my faith. Prior to this time as a student in YWAM in 2007 I felt like everything I did was "Christian." I grew up in the church, I went to Christian schools, all my friends were Christians, it was all I knew. At YWAM I learned what I really believed in and made my faith my own. After being a student, I came back on staff and had the chance to mentor students one-on-one. This time was the highlight of my week. It wasn't always easy but I loved being there to listen, comfort, guide and pray with these students. My time in Thailand doing prostitute ministry not only gave me a heart for this ministry but for young women in general. I remember looking these girls in the eyes, crying, and saying to myself, "I wish they knew they were loved and had value." To know there are people out there who don't believe this breaks my heart and it's a lot more people than we realize. This time in ministry was overwhelming because I didn't know where to start but I had to focus on the individual. If I could make a difference in one person's life than it was all worth it. I will never forget standing in the middle of a red light district in Phuket, Thailand with 1200 prostitutes praying with one of them to accept Jesus at 2am. It made a difference for her!
Lastly, my experiences working in mental health have solidified my desire to take the next step in this field by pursuing my masters degree. I got my undergraduate degree in Elementary Education but by the time I graduated I didn't want to teach. I didn't know what I wanted to do with my life but I knew that at some point it would involve graduate school. I told myself that I was not going to do this until I was absolutely certain that what I would get my masters degree in was what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. Working in a psychiatric day hospital program was incredibly challenging but helped me grow in ways I never would have had I not had that experience. I learned a lot about the field, about the types of issues people are facing, and also a lot about myself. I not only learned how best to deal with the situations that come up but how to take care of myself so that I do not let these issues impact me in a negative way. The people I worked with were incredibly compassionate, humble, real and constantly went above and beyond for their clients. They also took the time to get to know me and help guide me to where I am now. Working at Meier Clinics gave me confidence that this next step is the right step to take. To hear our clinical executive director, medical director, psychologists, and very talented therapists say that I'm going to make a great therapist are words that I will never forget. I'm thankful for each one of them and for the part they played in preparing me for graduate school.
So there you have it...not the shortest answer to that question but as I said it's not a simple answer. I'm nervous about this next step but I'm also ready. I'm ready to study all aspects of becoming the best therapist I can be but to also look deeper into myself. If we want to help others we first have to learn how to work through our own issues. I'm excited and I'm looking forward to sharing this journey with you!
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